The Adventures of Ninja Phil – Ep 20 – Double Windsor

Blog #33 - 28.09.2014

 

A tie is a wonderful thing. Most people simply see it as a way to look smart, but they have so many more uses outside of the realms of good grooming. Anyone who knows me will know that I love ties! I spent a few years in a suit and let me tell you suits are boring. What shall I wear today? Oh yes a suit! The only way to make a suit more exciting for the wearer is through the possession of an enormous array of ties. 

 

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My Tie Collection (2007)

Since the picture was taken, some of those ties have been lost to the vagaries of time. New ones have risen to take their place. Regardless of the make up of the collection, ties have always held a special place in my heart. You can understand my horror therefore when I heard the following story several years ago.

In Germany, on a seemingly normal Thursday, two gentleman of American descent were making a purchase in a well-known supermarket, attired in suits and their best ties. On arriving at the checkout, the attendant eyed their ties with intense interest. When they came to pay they were informed that she would take payment on one condition… she would be allowed to cut their ties! Oh the horror! What calamity! Naturally, the pair refused such an outrageous suggestion. But the more they protested, the more indignant she became. 

After several minutes of negotiating to save the lives of their precious neckpieces, the attendant reached breaking point and leaping over the cash machine, scissors in hand, she executed her sentence upon the ties of that poor pair. Only then were they informed that this particular Thursday was the Thursday before the start of Lent which was a day known as Weiberfastnachta day on which it is tradition for women to cut the ties of men. So be warned, all ye who enter Germany, that if your ties be precious to you make sure that that really ugly, brown/vomit-coloured, paisley tie that you have doesn’t get sent to the charity shop. Keep in as a sacrificial lamb in preparation for such an occurrence.

The sanctity of ties is not observed by everybody!

I would go as far as to say that anyone who would desecrate a tie in such a way is in need of an adjustment to their moral compass. Talking of moral compasses (seamless transition alert!) I realised that every Superhero group needs a moral compass and who better to serve as one than J.T. So remember kids: guns are dangerous!

Phil

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Postscript: My sincere apologies for the late post, or even missing a post now. As many of you may be aware, drawing comics for a blog isn’t a great money spinner. Neither, for that matter, is being a postgrad student. As such when some last minute teaching became available to me last week I jumped at the chance, but that also meant familiarising myself with an entire undergrad course in the space of 4 days. Comics kind of pale into insignificance in such situations. Should be back on track now.

And for anyone wondering there are, I believe, 54 ties in that picture. I think I’m well over the 60 mark now and I don’t really ever wear a suit anymore.

And I hope you enjoyed the Bob Hoskins quote from Hook. A sad year indeed in which we lost both Bob and Robin Williams. I say we all watch Hook tonight to remember them. Great Film.

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