The Adventures of Ninja Phil – Ep 10 – Brotherly Love

Blog #21 - 21.06.2014

So today’s comic sees the true expression of brotherly love!  Unfortunately I’m not sure the Incredible H can feel the love (wait you didn’t know Ninja Phil and the Incredible H were siblings? Now that’s a story that’ll have to wait for another day). The ones I really feel sorry for are the Pirates though who have fallen foul of another Bad Guy Fatal mistake (Bad Fatal Mistake #47 was discussed earlier)

Bad Guy Fatal Mistake #16

Allowing for Conversation

So you finally find yourself in the situation where you’ve got your arch nemesis horribly outnumbered, surrounded on all sides, along with her/his sidekicks. Of course, this is your moment of triumph! Your opponents may kill a good number of your minions in the process but that’s a price worth paying, right?

However, at some point during this final battle, your adversary will become cocky. Probably after extravagantly dispatching a fair few of your men, they will turn to their comrades and utter some meaningless witty comment referencing something said at a time when they weren’t in such a pickle. 

Now it would be unkind to deny them this moment of humour on the otherwise sombre occasion of their deaths. So make sure your minions know that at any point when lighthearted banter is occurring, they should in no way take the opportunity to turn that momentary lapse in concentration into a fatal mistake! Right? Wrong!!

When your opponent stands there with his gun pointed at the head of your chief lieutenant and utters some final remark before finishing him off, don’t just stand there, admiring his phrasing get one of your other guys to shoot him before he’s finished talking about avenging his family!

Or when your enemy turns to his other half and starts flirting with her in the middle of the battlefield, don’t suddenly find someone else to shoot at, blow both of them away before they have chance to exchange that cheeky wink!

The number of times you’ll find that that was your one and only opportunity to do the job properly is unbelievable! So don’t miss your chance: finish him!

As a case in point this is one of the most infuriating instances of this occurring in cinema history (at least that I know of), even more infuriating because I thought this film was awful (yes even worse than Phantom Menace who had Darth Maul to save it… kind of). The link below will take you to a video of the battle scene at the end of Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones. 

Watch it all if you like. But to see my point just skip to around the 9:40 mark and watch Anakin deflect repeated blaster shots away from him and Padme, only for them to all of a sudden stop while they have a brief moment to themselves. Absurd!

The pirates obviously weren’t aware of this advice or maybe there are really rules governing this sort of thing. But come back soon to find out how long it’ll take the pirates to lose their patience (and for me to get back on schedule).

Phil

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